The 6 month coaching program for mothers of adult daughters

who are ready to get their daughter back without spending years in therapy.

Welcome to Becoming

Apply here

Becoming is a 6-month coaching community for women ready to heal their mother-daughter relationship and get back to the love and ease you once had.

You’ve done the inner work. You’ve held so much. You’ve tried to do it differently than what was passed down. And still, there is distance between you. You long for more ease, more openness, more softness in the most important relationship of all. You want to feel heard without conflict. You want to be without guilt. You want to love without losing yourself.

Plan that wedding together, go on the family vacation, attend the graduation, make memories with your grandchildren without fear that it will be ripped away from you. Hundreds of women before you have said I am ready to stop watching the days go by the distance grow. Now they’re sending me pictures of them holding their grandbabies, dancing with their daughter at her wedding, messages of appreciation they received on Mother’s Day and sipping wine together in Napa Valley and much, much more.

I want you to have that, too.

Becoming isn’t about fixing what’s broken.
It’s about getting back to the love.

It’s about stepping fully into the mother or daughter with confidence and aligned intention.

Inside Becoming, you become…

  • A woman who has a voice she does not apologize for.

She speaks with clarity and compassion—grounded in her truth, no longer shrinking to make others comfortable. She knows her words carry weight, and she uses them with wisdom.

  • A woman who asks for what she needs.

She no longer sees her needs as burdens. She names them, honors them, and allows herself to be supported. She understands that care flows both ways—and she no longer overgives until she is empty.

  • A woman who no longer self-sacrifices to keep the peace.

She lets go of martyrdom. She chooses relationships rooted in mutuality, not obligation. She models wholeness, not suffering.

  • A woman who walks her path with confidence

She doesn’t wait for permission. She leads her life with steady steps and open hands—inviting her mother or daughter to walk beside her, not behind her.

  • A woman who invites connection with softness, love, and laughter

    She holds space for joy as much as for rupture. She knows that healing doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be filled with warmth, with light, and with moments of deep, peaceful belonging.

  • The women who can live her life knowing she did her all to have the best relationship possible.

    She stopped waiting, watching the days go by and started doing. Because this woman? She doesn’t settle.

Our Journey Together Includes:

1. The Golden Thread Teachings

In Becoming you will receive brand-new guided lessons designed to shape not just what you understand about your relationship, but how you live, respond and relate to her. Your curriculum is released every two weeks so together we can move through the guideposts in your Becoming journey at a supported, intentional pace.

2. The Coaching Calls

Live coaching calls with Hilary over Zoom where your story is held, your growth is supported, and your questions are met with clarity and care. This is where we turn learning into embodying the woman you are becoming.

3. Communication Review Calls

Submit your most recent communication with your daughter for guidance on your next steps. This can be text or email threads, notes from a recent visit or phone call and Hilary will provide feedback to help you decode your daughter’s needs and your next plan of action. Ease your nerves by having a plan for your next conversation, be crystal clear on your goals and the steps to take to get there.

4. The Sanctuary

A private space on Facebook where our sisterhood lives. We welcome your questions, insights and breakthroughs so we can connect between calls. This is where your community of cheer leaders lifts you up with access 24/7.

5. An Expanding Library of Tools and Teachings

You’ll get immediate access to a rich, curated library designed to meet you exactly where you are and support every step of your Becoming. Over $1,500 in recorded classes and workshops (some not publicly available) are ready for your immediately. Our library will also hold all recordings of expert sessions + coaching call to revisit anytime (and growing with each live call we hold).

6. Mother-Daughter Calls

These calls led by Hilary, are a sacred space to witness and be witnessed, whether you’re joined by your mother or daughter, or doing this work on your own you will practice what you are learning right here. They are about practicing presence, listening deeply and allowing the relationship to soften in a supported way.

Each element of Becoming is intentional and woven to guide you into whole family healing and reconnection.

Becoming is not a Destination. It’s a Return.

A return to your own wisdom. A return to mutual respect.
A return to a relationship where you feel seen, safe and supported.

This is what you are becoming here.

What moms and daughters are saying:

“The first time I talked to Hilary I think I cried the entire time because I felt like I had no options to heal with my daughter. Now there is an opening and I’m so glad my daughter accepted this invitation to work together.”

N.V.

"After that session, I saw that I wasn’t listening to her at that time of her life because I was so afraid of what was going to happen that I went into protection mode and missed a big part of what was needed - talking and listening to her instead of telling her “you can’t” over and over. I have a lot of regrets in how I handled that." 

Then she sent me (Hilary) this message after a few more sessions with her daughter and getting a 'yes' to Sunday dinner, "I was sitting back watching all my kids and grandkids together having fun and thinking “this is all I wanted, this is all I need.”

P.F.

"Everything we have done is amazing, your patience and listening and putting pieces together from what you hear. You are healing generations of daughters and making such an impact. I really don’t even want it to end. My daughter was considering not allowing me in her life in November before she found you and that’s not the case now."

P.S.

To the woman whose heart aches for more...
I see you.

  • I see how much you long for a mother-daughter relationship that feels safe, warm, and real where love doesn’t have to hide behind silence or sacrifice.

  • I see you trying to do it differently, showing up with love, with patience, with everything you have… but still feeling misunderstood, or like there’s something missing.

  • I see the way you mother while still carrying the wounds of how you were mothered... the way you daughter while trying not to disappear in the process.

  • I see how deeply you care, how much you’ve tried and how lonely it feels when the connection you crave isn’t there.

You’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for what was always meant to be yours:

Love that feels mutual.
Communication that feels clear.
Connection that feels safe.
A relationship that works for both of you.

Join 100’s of mothers & daughters who have put the very principles I teach into action and built a mutually loving and peaceful relationship.

Inside Becoming, She Rises.

The woman who steps into Becoming is not here to be rescued. She’s here to remember who she truly is and to repair the bond that shaped her more than anything else in this life.

  • Honors her truth and speaks it with clarity, without apology.
    She no longer edits herself to be palatable. Her voice is a reflection of her values, not her fear

  • Knows how to ask for what she needs—and receives it with grace.
    She no longer over-functions to be loved. She makes space for her needs and models it for the women around her.

  • Leads her relationships with softness, strength, and self-respect.
    She doesn't control or collapse. She invites. She mirrors. She holds.

  • Breaks cycles with compassion, not shame.
    She is no longer at war with her lineage. She is the peace her family has never known.

  • Sets boundaries from self-worth—not reactivity.
    She doesn’t perform love or earn connection. She offers it freely, and protects what matters.

  • Models emotional maturity and repair.
    She doesn’t pretend conflict doesn’t exist. She moves through it with skill, presence, and care.

  • Bridges generations with wisdom, not wounds.
    She is no longer just reacting to the past. She is consciously shaping the future.

  • Feels safe in her body, her story, and her power.
    She no longer waits for someone else to name her enough. She walks in that knowing.

  • Invites laughter, ease, and joy into the healing.
    She is no longer just surviving the mother-daughter relationship. She is thriving in it.

This is who you’re becoming.

Not a perfect mother. Not a perfect daughter. But a woman who is whole, honest, and free. Becoming doesn’t give you a script. It gives you yourself—and a new way forward with the one relationship that holds everything.

Inside Becoming, You’ll Receive:

Live Hot-Seat Coaching Calls with Hilary to get answers to your burning relationship questions that helps you see what you couldn’t see before

Biweekly Guided Teachings with over 50 transformational lessons taking you step by step through my Mother-Daughter Reconnection Method

Monthly Mother-Daughter Circle Calls for practicing real conversations, deepening connection and experiencing shared healing whether you're attending together or engaging with our sisterhood

Private Sanctuary Community for daily reflection, connection, support and sisterhood

Expanding Course Library including over $1,500 in recorded classes unavailable to the public

Access to all Live Workshops & Masterclasses during your time in Becoming - no sign-up, no extra cost. You’re already on the list with a front-row seat

Becoming has been intentionally crafted to guide you through whole family transformation.

The total value of Becoming: $15,000

Your investment for your relationship and whole family transformation:

$5,000
Pay-in-Full

or

5 monthly payments of $1111

Client Love

Meet Your Guide

I’m Hilary—therapist, mother, daughter and guide for women doing the sacred work of healing their mother-daughter bond.

For over 15 years, I’ve supported women as a family therapist—and for the past five, I’ve devoted my entire practice to this one relationship. Not because it’s easy. But because it’s everything. What I teach inside Becoming wasn’t handed to me in a textbook.

  • It came from sitting with hundreds of mothers and daughters across every kind of rupture.

  • It came from walking through my own questions as a daughter and as a mother.

  • It came from listening, witnessing and building a framework that actually works for women from all over the world navigating their relationships daily.

This isn’t mindset work or surface repair. This is nervous system work. Pattern work. Generational work. This is healing at the root. If you're here, I already know something about you: You’re the one in your lineage willing to turn toward what hurts and begin again.

And if you’re ready, I’ll walk that path with you—every step of the way.

What Happens After You Join Becoming?

You’ve said yes. Yes to healing. Yes to legacy. Yes to love that feels whole, honest and alive again.

1. Your Sacred Welcome

You’ll receive a Welcome Package designed to gently invite you into this space with intention. This is your opportunity to share the deeper why behind your yes—

  • The longing you feel to repair what’s been strained.

  • The hope you hold for your daughter, your mother, or both.

  • The kind of relationship you’re ready to create—and the patterns you’re ready to release.

It’s the first thread of your Becoming.

2. Access to Our Sanctuary

You’ll be given immediate access to:

  • The Becoming Calendar, outlining our live coaching sessions, peer circles, expert experiences, and more

  • Access to your full library of support to dive into while we settle in to our community as we prepare for our first golden thread teachings to release on June 1st.

  • Your login to the private membership portal, where your golden thread teachings and library of classes will live

  • A warm welcome into our private community, a private space on Facebook to connect, be witnessed and feel supported between sessions. Your new sisterhood of support is ready for you!

3. Pause. Breathe. You’ve Already Begun.

Before you do anything else—

  • We invite you to pause.

  • Light a candle, make a cup of tea or take a walk. Honor this moment. You’ve chosen to stop the cycle, love differently and heal forward.

We’ll handle the logistics because you’ve done the brave part, you’re exactly where you need to be.

If you feel the quiet pull…

If you’ve longed for a closer relationship where you know how to work through what comes up with ease...

This is the way there.
This changes everything for every generation of daughters from here.
This is your Becoming.

The thread has been there all along, waiting for you to pick it up.
Let me guide you in weaving something beautiful.

Join us inside Becoming.

FAQ’s

When does the program start and end?

When you begin you have six months of all access to every call, class and lesson. Members who complete the program are invited to stay with us as Alumni to stay connected to the content, coaching and community inside Becoming as long as they desire.

Is this the same as Hold On To Your Daughter?

Hold On To Your Daughter gave mothers the tools to understand what’s happening in their mother-daughter dynamic, with a focus on where it tends to get off track in the teen years. Becoming is where we transform the relationship. It is created for mothers and daughters both to learn about their roles and how to take action to invite something more. It’s deeper, more immersive, and built for long-term change - across the entire family system.

What days/times are the coaching calls?

These vary each month, we schedule calls at a variety of times in order to accommodate different time zones and schedules. Each month you’ll receive an email with all the dates and you’re able to click one button to have all of our events synced to your calendar. 

What if I’m already in therapy?

Becoming is designed to complement, not compete with, the work you're doing in therapy.

Therapy often focuses on processing the past, understanding personal history or treating specific symptoms.Becoming is relational. It’s practical. It’s experiential.

We focus on:

  • Emotional patterns within the mother-daughter bond

  • Nervous system regulation in moments of tension or withdrawal

  • Tools for real-time repair, boundary-setting, and reconnection

  • Peer support and sacred witnessing

  • An archetypal framework that reveals why the relationship feels so charged

If therapy has helped you understand yourself, Becoming will help you understand yourself within your relationship—and give you the structure and support to change it.

Many women inside Becoming are also in therapy. The two work beautifully together.

What if I want to do this, but my mother/daughter doesn’t?

That’s one of the most common questions I receive and I want you to hear this clearly: You don’t need her to say yes for you to say yes.

The work we do inside Becoming starts with you—because real change in the mother-daughter dynamic doesn’t come from controlling the other person. It comes from shifting the energy, the patterns, and the emotional habits you bring into the relationship.

And when one person shows up differently, with new awareness, boundaries, softness, or strength - everything can shift.
You’ll be amazed at how often daughters respond differently when the emotional charge, old roles, or silent expectations are released.

Even if she isn’t ready, even if she never joins you, this work will change your experience of the relationship.

  • It will bring you peace.

  • It will give you clarity.

  • It will show you how to lead with love, without losing yourself.

And sometimes, that shift creates the invitation she’s been waiting for.

Is this for mothers of young daughters or adult daughters?

Becoming is for both mothers and adult daughters at any stage of life. You join us individually - you do not need to join together.

You do not need to be a mother yourself to benefit from this work.
If you are a daughter, especially one navigating a painful, confusing, or distant relationship with your own mother—this program is for you.

And if you are a mother—of a teen, a young adult, or even a grown daughter with her own life—this program is also for you. This work honors the full arc of the mother-daughter bond.

What if I can’t make the live calls?

All calls will be recorded, placed inside our library as well as emailed to you with a direct link to access.

What happens on the coaching calls with Hilary?

Whether you want clarity on applying a golden thread teaching to your relationship or have upcoming time together and want to get clear on your approach, Hilary will answer your specific question on this call to help you take your best next step forward.

My beautiful, successful and loving client, Halie, shares about her experience in sessions with her mother to heal their relationship that had been strained for over a decade, beginning when she left for college:

“Things were rough before working with Hilary. During my first decade of adulthood, my relationship with my mom was filled with constant struggle. Misunderstandings, fights, boundaries being crossed—everything was strained. I refused to perpetuate the dysfunctional dynamic to my daughters.

Hilary was phenomenal. A perfect blend of skill, kindness, perspective, and encouragement. She coached us through hard moments and established a safe space for my mom and I to be fully transparent and vulnerable with ourselves and each other.

My mom and I have such a better understanding of each other. I give her more grace because I ask questions instead of assuming I know the answers. She pauses to listen and understands my feelings and perspectives more than she ever has. When we come across hard conversations we use the tools we learned with Hilary to talk things through without judgment. We are more of a team than we ever have been!”